Why We Need To Do Things Differently - it's time to break the biasApr 28, 2022
Growing up in the 80s there were very strong beliefs around how little girls should behave. I had a very happy childhood; my parents encouraged me to follow my dreams, to pursue the things that made me happy, on the condition that I didn’t rock the boat and wasn’t too loud.
This wasn’t to hold me back. They did it because that’s what they believed would bring me the most joy and happiness, and keep me safe.
As a mother of two young daughters, I can totally understand this approach, but it is also the very reason that I do the work I do. I help women break the chain and change the way they show up in the world, so that things can be different for the next generation.
We have been told for generations that we need to act, dress, and behave in a certain way.
As women we must be liked, put everybody else’s needs before our own, never question why men get treated differently, be grateful for being allowed to work, but make sure we don’t let our domestic duties slide - get the kids to school, the dog to the vet and make sure dinner is on the table.
It’s hardly surprising that at the end of the day there’s no energy to chase, or even really think about, what we actually want. And if there ever is a seed of an idea, any desire for it is crushed by a deep fear of failure, getting it wrong, or even success.
My whole life I’ve been told, “Things are changing, things will be different now.” There is more awareness of how incredibly unfair things are for anyone not white and male (on a huge sliding scale) but women are still being held back! They can still follow their dreams, just quietly and without a fuss.
It’s time for fuss. We must question all the systems and structures that have been used to control people. The existing patriarchal system actually only supports the people right at the very top, and the bias it creates against all groups of society means nobody comes together to fight it.
If I want my daughters to inherit something different, then I need to do things differently.
I need to work through my fear of not being liked, being too much, or showing off, and show others that it’s okay to do this too.
Our mothers may not have made it obvious, but I believe they were changing things, making little shifts so it is possible for us to do the big shift to lead the way and no longer accept the stories we’ve been told.
Women are the change the world needs and we can show them it’s okay to change, for things to be different. We can stand together and help each other rise, because when we do, we will break the bias and make life fairer for everyone.
We are always stronger together.
Together, we can do this.